So Adalyn, I know I wrote you already this month, but I somehow failed to include one of the biggest steps we've taken together since you were born. And I just had to get this down because we all know I don't want to forget any of this, and this was a step. A tear-filled, anxiety-inducing step.
Your dad is probably going to read this and roll his eyes and think o.m.g your mother is obsessive and still insanely emotional. And he's probably right.
But. This was a big, big thing I was holding on to, that God had to pretty much wrench from my clenched fist.
And that is you sleeping in your own crib at night.
I KNOW. You got to stay with us longer than lots of babies. In our little house we were living in for the first few months of your life (while our current house was being finished) it was a necessity. Not only because you were a newborn, but because it was a two-bedroom house, and your brother obviously had the other room. But then we moved, and though I know your dad believed it was probably time, I just wasn't ready. He didn't bring it up though, and we all know I didn't want to, so next to our bed your little pack n' play went again. You did sleep in your crib for naps, but that was different. I was awake and could keep an eye on you if necessary.
Fast forward two months, to me getting sick. I had recently been reflecting on how grateful I was that I hadn't really caught anything while pregnant or since having you, especially since I've been trying to stay away from most/all medications. Then, of course, some awful respiratory infection hit and not only did my head and chest feel like they were about to explode, but I was terrified that I had an end-of-season flu and was going to pass it to you. You couldn't get the flu shot this year because of your age, so of course my worrisome tendencies kicked in and I nursed you with a mask on for days that the doctor at the Urgent Care clinic gave me. Fortunately, my flu test was negative, but because I had not known that the day before, we had decided that your dad should probably put you to bed that night, and in your room at that. I didn't want to keep you up all night with my coughing and sneezing.
And we repeated the same routine the next night, for the same reason. Then I started to feel better. And though I wanted so badly to have you next to the bed still, your dad and I both noticed you slept more soundly in there. It's darker in your room, plus there wasn't the risk of being woken by us getting ready for bed or the dog tap dancing around.
So, since the bandaid had already been ripped off without me knowing, I officially accepted that you would be sleeping in your room now. And it was hard. I cried the first couple of nights. I had gotten in the habit of going to bed semi-early so that I could get some sleep in before you awoke hungry or before your dad came to bed and woke you (because he is not graceful and would inevitably run into the bench or trip over something) . So when I went to get ready for bed that first night, and the lamp was still on and your bassinet was sitting next to the bed empty it just got me. It was so strange to sit up in bed and read with the lights on.
I think the intent behind keeping babies in their parents room is typically for night feedings, and for SIDS prevention. (Experts say that this helps, so of course we would do anything to keep you safe). But then it became a comfort thing, and I just loved being able to roll over and look down on you in your bassinet while you slept. I do know, though, that you are probably more comfortable in your crib, and that in the long run it is better for you. Even though you STILL haven't reached the bassinet insert weight limit on your pack n play, your little legs were starting to touch the sides when you would roll over.
So I can never be brief when talking about you, but to sum it up... you are in your crib, you are happy, momma was sad, but that's the nature of watching your baby grow huh?
Love you sweet girl,
your mom
Your dad always said that waking your brother up first thing in the morning was his favorite part of the day. Unfortunately I didn't get to do that with him, but I totally get it now. :)
